I have bad Autophobia(fear of being alone) and my husband is a way for work for a week. Im now home alone and freaking out.
What do?
There are loads of bespoke custom blowup doll makers around. We're talking Ferraris of inflatable phwoar. I hear these days most are doing a roaring trade building Putin dolls. And you can totally see why. Phwoar. What a dude.
Why not approach your nearest to construct one of your hubby? Get him to record a few dozen extra-romantic phrases and play them back from an audio recorder in its head. Or fill it full of helium and get a drone to tow it and do laps around your house, crooning deafening love ballads so that your neighbourhood can bask in the intimacy. Or commission an entire army of dolls of you, do the same helium/drone routine, and follow your beloved from above in a vast chevron-shaped armada of inflatable love.
Wouldn't he do the same for you?
He would ... wouldn't he? Does your beautiful beau not cherish you and worship you and smooch forever your adorable wee toes-ies? 'Course he does. So it's high time you put your Autophobia to good use. Harness that shite. Proclaim throughout Casa Casey (that's your pad) that it's your turn to businessly piss off for a week. And wherever you boss-babe-ly venture, a second chevron-shaped armada of inflatable husbandly love shall hover aloft, maintaining aerial vigil and divebombing your business femme-rivals like stroppy Stukas. It'll be friggin' awesome. Your autophobia won't know what hit it, baby. Problem solved.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/ferrari-arma...